Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Pisces 5-22-26

    No, you aren’t tripping balls from some bad mushrooms, Fishy. Well, you could be. I don’t know your life. What I do know is that the the vibes today will promote wires getting crossed all over the dang place. Buckle up and get ready for a ride on the miscommunication-mobile. Things might not come out as you’d like them to, but you’ll survive the madness and maybe even be the Sign that rocks this Friday with your epic patience and perseverance. I believe in you, Pisces.

  • Aquarius 5-22-26

    Say what? Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. With today’s vibes, communication could be a… royal pain in the butt. You may want to launch the ones you love into outer space so they’ll leave you the hell alone, but letting them know what you need could help you get those needs met without damaging the relationships that mean the most. Your craving for space and freedom could have you contemplating a mental health day, a short road trip, a meditation session — anything to get you out of your routine. Find a way to give yourself what you need while keeping your finger holstered and any f-bombs undeployed for a much easier day, Aquarius.

  • Capricorn 5-22-26

    The London Bridge is burning to the flipping ground, my fair lady/sir/person. Okay, so the vibes might make it feel like you’re burning bridges left and right, but any miscommunications with your loved ones today may not actually be as bad as you think they are. Probably. The biggest thing will be to keep people in the loop about your needs, especially if you’re needing some space. Let them know instead of pushing them away. Things’ll turn out okay — as long as you refrain from self-destructing, Cappy. Keep your mind open and the words flowing from your soul — and you might just make this a fantastic Friday after all.

  • Sagittarius 5-22-26

    Butting heads and biting tongues? Could be a kinky Friday night, but that’s probably just actually the lowest level of a Sag as vibes of miscommunication encourage disagreements and stabby-stab feelings. Don’t be THAT lowly version of yourself, Saggy. Kick the Universe in the family jewels, use its hunched over body as a step stool, and reach for higher vibes of harmony and balance this Friday. You don’t have to crumble under the communication breakdown. You can rise above it!

  • Scorpio 5-22-26

    While shoving people off the nearest precipice makes for an interesting fantasy when they’re harshing your Friday vibe, try to keep it a fantasy, Scorpster. You don’t look so good in orange or stripes (I mean, who does?), and your need to be free won’t mesh well with bars and razor wire. Just saying. Maybe give the people you love the benefit of the doubt. They may not be trying to annoy the ever-loving poop out of you. With today’s vibes, good intentions might end up getting lost in translation. Maybe give yourself a time out or treat yourself to happy hour later. Just speak up and let your peeps know you’re feeling cranky. They might even want to share a drink and a pie with you — or will back off and let you have your space. Either way, awesome!

  • Libra 5-22-26

    Feeling free and letting it all hang loose? Sounds like my typical Friday night (my pajamas and snuggie ARE pretty loose)! Okay, Libra, there might actually be such a thing as too much freedom. The vibes of freedom could be calling your name. And it’ll feel great until you’re free falling off the side of a cliff. Enjoy the vibes and do you — within reason. Don’t go jumping off skyscrapers in your journey to feed your soul. Find ways to chase your ambitions and use the vibes to help you — like launching the weekend early, planning a new project that’s been on your mind, or even just getting in those loose pajamas. You’ve got this.

  • Virgo 5-22-26

    The song of freedom ringing in your brain could have you pushing people out the dang way as you race towards your potential. It’ll be all too easy to get tunnel vision with the vibes today. Remember there are people around you! Don’t trample the crowd, Virgo. If you need some space, let the people close to you know rather than hiding away. Then when you’re ready to share your accomplishments, you’ll have people standing beside you instead of you standing on a pile of people. Today’s choices can impact tomorrow… but the HOW is up to you — you magical thing, you.

  • Leo 5-22-26

    Bow down before the awesome power of the Universe, you filthy peasants! LOL, okay just kidding… but…. Sure, emotions could run high as the vibes of the Universe hover over you like an arrogant, chubby king eating another leg of mutton. Instead of bowing down like a good little peasant, why not try something wild, like staging a rebellion? Viva la resistance!!!! With a little effort on your part, you can be pretty stable emotionally. You are not a meek servant of the Universe. Use your brain (it’s in there somewhere, buddy!) and choose to rise above any miscommunications that could pop up. Indeed, Leo, the secret to mastering your emotions is to really get in touch with your thoughts. Try to give it a positive spin today. Fight off any negative self-doubt. Take deep breaths when you feel like raging or crying. Know yourself, understand and acknowledge your emotions. That’s what will give you dominion over your emotions this Friday. Who has the crown now?

  • Cancer 5-22-26

    Therapist to Cancer: What do we do when we feel a need for space?
    Crabby: Go holiday shopping until we feel better.
    Therapist: …No.
    If this feels like you today, you’re not alone. Going out to load up on new shoes might seem preferable to dealing with the bull-shirt of misunderstandings and feeling smothered by everyone else. But shopping won’t be the answer (I mean, it is AN answer… and a tempting one at that… but not the best one). You’ll be better served to focus instead on taking care of you and thinking before you speak rather than going into debt with retail therapy. I mean, maybe one add to cart wouldn’t hurt. Or just grab a Snickers. Do you, Cancer.

  • Gemini 5-22-26

    This Friday you’ll definitely want to flush all those worries down the toilet, Gemini. But, have a plunger ready, as misunderstandings could be a sheep storm that’ll have you wanting to hop the next jet to a sunnier location today. While escaping to a tropical island may not be on your agenda (or in your budget), you may want to find a way to get a little space so you don’t get caught up in any nonsense that you don’t need in your life, too. Chill out to a meditation, take a walk in nature, do some quick yoga (chair yoga works, too), or even just take a social media break. If you stay on top of your needs and keep your communications clear, you might not need that plunger after all. Show them how it’s done, Gem.

  • Taurus 5-22-26

    Remember not to believe everything you think today, Taurus. Or say. Or hear. Signals could get crossed in a big way with the ones you love with today’s vibes. Don’t assume the worst, and if you feel a need for space, say that. Don’t just give them the silent treatment if you need a break. Instead, let them know you have some big feelings to sort out and ask for the space to do it. You can turn this challenge into a championship if you take care of you, be up front, and you might even learn a thing or two along the way.

  • Aries 5-22-26

    Forecast calls for crossed wires, general electrocution, and a need for freedom today, Aries. Who, what, where, when and wtf? Skip texting in lieu of real conversations, and don’t expect anyone to read your mind to know what you need if you don’t use your words. Today’s energy could have your messages going awry — or simply be misunderstood. Use your natural mental superpowers to communicate clearly. Also, don’t freak the fork out if someone crowds your space. Just keep calm, and speak up if your personal space is invaded. If all else fails, remember that the rules for kindergarten still apply in adulthood: use your words and play well with others. If you can manage that, treat yourself to a snacky snack!