Author: systems

  • Pisces 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… You could be channeling some major vibes today. After all, “wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure,” right? With the Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap, you could be feeling witty, punny, or just garden-variety funny if you focus the energy on communicating and staying positive. Low-vibing Fish could feel like everyone else has it better and could stand to embrace a little magic by changing up their perspective or to remember that what everyone else has is none of their (ahem, YOUR) beeswax. Whether vibing high or low, the comedic potential will be there for anyone who wants a shot of laughter. Bottoms up!

  • Aquarius 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… Looking goooood with that charm and wit glistening off ya, Aquarius! With the Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap, you’ll likely have a hefty boost in the wit department and find jokes just rolling off your tongue. You could also accidentally go too far (especially if your mood turns sour) and gore out someone’s eyeball. Yikes, WB. Yeah, don’t. You can totally roast some folks in jolly good humor. Just be careful you don’t go for the jugular if you feel your mood falling to a dark place. Keep it light. Fight for your right to giggle in good fun.

  • Capricorn 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… If you have a choice between your cranky pants and your sassy ones, go with sassy. Your backside looks better in them. With a Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap, the feels will be all about being assertive, charming, and witty. If you accidentally shoved your fine ass in the cranky pants, you could find yourself irritable with it, Cappy. But if you put on the better-looking sassy pants today, you could find yourself making connections with cleverness and humor and getting it done like a boss.

  • Sagittarius 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… I am shooketh! The Universe will actually be dishing out some sweet vibes with the Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap. The energies will be glorious for communicating with ease, particularly when it comes to putting your ideas into words, Saggy. You could use these energies to improve teamwork, break through writer’s block, or call together a massive penguin army to colonize Neptune with you. Totally up to you. Do you and do it well!

  • Scorpio 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… Why did the Scorpio cross the road? The booty on the other side was bigger? No way. That’s a telephone pole, dear. Lovely Scorpster, the vibes coming from the Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap could have you looking for greener grass (or a bigger ass) elsewhere, but my challenge for you is to find ways to appreciate what’s right in front of you. Don’t miss out on the goodness you already have because you’re thinking you can get something better if you cross the road. Have a look at what you have right here, right now, and consider fixing up what you already got. It still looks good on you, boo.

  • Libra 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… Keep your eyes on your own darn grass, Libra. Doesn’t matter if your neighbor’s looks greener or thicker. You don’t know what chicken crap they’ve been using to get it to look that way. That could be a Tiktok filter for all you know. Mind your business and focus on your own metaphorical lawn while the Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap. The energy could have you feeling powerful as long as you don’t get caught up evaluating what other people have that you don’t. In fact, if you stay in your own lane (or yard or whatever), you’ll likely find people flocking to you like flies to honey. If your neighbor just so happens to get the same attention, just remember that flies like poop, too. This day could be absolutely fabulous if you use this extra plutonian energy to tend to your own greenery, Scales.

  • Virgo 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… Feeling cute, might bulldoze my closest relationships later. IDK. Virgo, the Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap will be reflecting vibes that’ll help you really assert yourself but also these energies could be taken too far if you’re struggling with a cranky ass mood. Don’t trample on the bonds you’ve built up if you feel an urge to take action. If you have issues, assert your point of view and work for a solution. No need to go assassin on the whole relationship! Rise above any heated emotions and use that energy not to run to the hills but to build on what you have.

  • Leo 1-17-24

    Jan 18, 2024… This Thursday could be GOAT (greatest of all time) for the Lion. Key word: “could.” Like, the vibes reflected by the Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap will be outstanding for a power surge BUT if you’re doing the lowly-crabby-crank-Ima-pinch-you thing, then these vibes could spell your (or someone else’s) doom. Your pinch is already deadly but maximized with this power surge you could really mess up someone. Not ideal. Channel the higher Leo side and use the power up for betterment. Use that easy energy to bring balance to the stuff on your plate and to take action. Create and inspire — and then you’ve got this in the bag.

  • Cancer 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… Like Scarlett O’Hara but with a better attitude, Cancers could find themselves surrounded by a flock of admirers today. Your natural charisma could be turned all the way up with the Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap. Low-vibing Crabs may be tempted to try to steal the spotlight like an attention grubbing fiend. Instead, be high vibing and you’ll likely make it through the day strong in your power and surrounded by those who inspire. To the haters? Repeat after me: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

  • Gemini 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… Keep it 100, Gem. You could experience a rush of power thanks to the vibes coming from the Moon in Taurus conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap. I’d say hip-hip-hooray except that if you find yourself in a low mood this Thursday, we could have a Supertwin eruption and that’s never something to celebrate. You can avoid having to do damage control tomorrow by working towards channeling the positive and constructive today. Be as sweet as the icing on a decorative cookie! My calculations say you can do it. Really. I made a pie chart and everything.

  • Taurus 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… All your charm could turn to smarm if you don’t take care. Think more Keanu Reeves, less con artist. A Taurus Moon conjunct Jupiter and trine Mercury and Mars in Cap could have powerful energy simmering in the air. It could lead to wit and charm unless you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Then, it might tilt toward biting, dripping sarcasm or slide even further into snark or bitterness. If you lead with kindness, you’ll likely channel charming and disarming instead of piss and vinegar. Be fantastic and get out there, Taurus.

  • Aries 1-18-24

    Jan 18, 2024… Aries, we both know you have charm for days. Your natural charisma makes everyone want you for their ride or die — especially since they know you’ll remember to bring water, gas up the car, and be prepared for any scenario. But if you feel like you’re low-vibing today, take care. You could get stuck in envy or bitterness if you don’t focus on your personal power. The energetic vibes today have you oozing charm, which sounds gross but totally isn’t. Green-with-envy isn’t a good look for you, Ram, so try the oozy charm thing instead.