Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Capricorn 3-31-26

    Every day is leg day when you run from your problems, right, Cappy? I know it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, but those pesky emotions aren’t going to go away because you’re hiding from them (or running from them, drinking them away). This Tuesday will be like an emotion mirror in HD. And, frankly, you’ll look wrinkly as all hell if you don’t let loose. Try sinking into those feelings instead with music or a mood-appropriate movie. Get em out. Yell, cry, punch a pillow, or love fiercely. Get randomly kind. Whatever speaks to you. You will likely help you avoid a hell of an emotional hangover tomorrow and you might make this world a little better in the meantime.

  • Sagittarius 3-31-26

    If someone tells you “Hey, don’t go that way. It’s dangerous!” but you’re all like “Shut up, idiot. I got this.” and then you end up sinking in quicksand in 2.5 seconds, then who’s the real idiot? Well, with these vibes, you could get a little too big for your britches, Saggy. There’s a lesson for growth hidden here. Yes, Sagittarians often have great intuition, but the key is to know how to tell gut feelings apart from being a stubborn, arrogant asshat. You’ve got a talent for feeling out situations and knowing things, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t subject to being absolutely, totally wrong sometimes. Keep it humble, keep it real, keep the mind open and stay chill. You’ve got this.

  • Scorpio 3-31-26

    Let them eat cake! Yes, because cake solves the problems of poverty, Antoinette. Honestly (rolls eyes)… Like Marie Antoinette, you could find yourself saying some dumb stuff as you give in to the desire to want to blindly defend your viewpoints today, Scorpster. Check your dogma at the door, dude. Even though you’re known for wisdom, there’s always room to improve, especially when it comes to expanding the mind. Full-frontal honesty here: you may get seriously tied down by your beliefs and are really super fixed in your opinions. Like, annoyingly so. Maybe a tad bit judgey. That may be the nature of Scorpio, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change things up. Make an effort today to learn something new or challenge your beliefs by speaking with people or watching videos by people who hold beliefs counter to your own. You never know what you could discover. Search on, Scorpster!

  • Libra 3-31-26

    Karma might get all the credit for being a big B, but Libras come in a close second when mad as a murder hornet. Today, the energy will tempt you to dig in those stubborn heels in an argument, but don’t do it. You may find yourself needing to let go of an opinion you’ve been clinging to like a rock in a storm and accept that maybe you could be wrong. Isn’t that a kick in the head??? But learning something new? Could be an exciting start to a new opportunity if you open up to it. So shelve the need to hang on. Let go and see if this day offers you something new.

  • Virgo 3-31-26

    If you go on a zipline without checking that your safety line is secure, you could be in for some trouble. Or you could have the time of your life. Virgos tend towards the optimistic outcome in situations like this, but what happens when their anchors come undone? What if the entire dang zipline falls apart? The vibes this Tuesday will be about letting go of old viewpoints and outdated information. Not so tough for the Virgo, right? After all, the V is always moving forward, aiming towards the future. Allow yourself to go through the motions in order to accept changes today, learn from them, and then make a newer, better, more secure zipline. For the hopeful, positive YOU, there will always be a new anchor to keep you steady.

  • Leo 3-31-26

    If you enjoy being blindsided by exciting, new feelings that seem to come out of the blue with no warning, then you’ll definitely appreciate the vibes this Tuesday, Leo. Whatever is a Leo to do with such changes? Embrace them, of course. Lions will navigate any dang thing the sea of life throws at them like a seasoned captain. No matter what the Universe throws at you, you come back at it even stronger, usually with a middle finger salute to boot. You’ve got this, and you really don’t need me to tell you that, my friend.

  • Cancer 3-31-26

    Remembering old traumas is about as fun as a barrel full of monkeys, if the monkeys are dead and the barrel is covered in poison spikes. The vibes could be great for teachable moments. More specifically, you could use some of your personal struggles to help someone else. Old traumas could be resurfacing, but instead of breaking down and breaking stuff because of the pain, you can use your analyzer ability to look at the old pain in a new light. You may get to help someone, which is a secret passion of Cancer (shhh, we won’t tell anyone your little secret). Use the vibes today and your superpower of self-improvement to help others deal with their own spikey barrels of dead monkeys. (Note: no monkeys were harmed in the making of this horoscope.)

  • Gemini 3-31-26

    All-wise and all-knowing may be your shtick, Gemini, but expect the rest of the Zodiac to tell you to, um, shtick it up your tail if you wade in today with advice without waiting to be asked. Your natural charm and charisma might have them biting their tongue, but trust me when I say they’ll probably be biting down on the f-bomb they want to let loose when you think you know their lives better than they do. With the vibes today, you might be tempted to double down on your strong opinions and general know-it-all and can do it better energy, but if you use this day’s energy to listen and learn rather than advise and convince, you’ll have the kind of balanced day where no one will be tempted to tell you to go smudge yourself. They’ll be too busy appreciating your epic ability to listen and empathize.

  • Taurus 3-31-26

    You know how having a rear is fine but showing it to everyone else is most decidedly not? Yeah, it’s cool that you have strong values. Yay you. Shoving them down other people’s throats? Not cool at all. But you know that. Still, with the vibes today, you may unconsciously be feeling like you personally poop rainbows and sneeze shooting stars. With that in mind, checking your pride will help you help other people AND yourself. Seeing someone else’s perspective will likely help you feel more compassionate. It may also help you figure out a way to use your own experiences to help, something a Taurus is almost always keen to do.

  • Aries 3-31-26

    Yeah, yeah, yeah: you’re a Boss — the Queen or King of all. At least, you could be feeling that way today. This exciting energy can be a good thing if you use it to help out a friend rather than to tell everyone how you think they should live their lives. Use today’s powerful energy to let go of worn-out ways of thinking to open up to new perspectives. Growing might feel uncomfortable, but it’s a hell of a lot better than being a belly-up Ram. You’re an Old Soul capable of great things if you’ll relax on being right — if only for today.

  • Pisces 3-30-26

    If you’re starting the day with a big milky bowl of oh heck no, you are not alone! Shifts in energy could reflect thoughts and feelings that can be difficult to balance. Wrapping up old projects and dealing with unfinished business could help you sort through the muddle and come out ahead. Avoiding impulses may annoy your need for action but appeal to your need for peace. Stick with the peace, Fishy. You’re gonna need it!

  • Aquarius 3-30-26

    Aquarians are usually peace-lovers — fighting only for power and prosperity. Until you make them angry. Then? Run far, far away, dude. The vibes surrounding WBs will be all about emotions and higher thinking. While that’s great, it could also lead to rash decisions, so stay cool. An angry Aquarius isn’t exactly a chill creature who thinks before acting. Honestly, orange is not the new black and it’s usually not a good color on you, so committing unspeakable crimes in a fit of rage will be off the table today. Sorry! On the other side of things, positive emotions and inspired ideas can be great guides for doing good deeds and being a positive force in the world.