Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Pisces 5-8-26

    Put on your granny panties because adulting will be called for today, Fishy. Fortunately, your stubborn streak will work in your favor today as challenges arise. Exercise patience and be the determined Pisces we all know and tolerate — I mean, love. Seriously, you aren’t one to back down from a challenge and the vibes today will be all about testing your resolve. Joke’s on the Universe, though, because you’re sooo not about to give up when the going gets tough. If anything, your resolve will get tougher and you’ll climb over obstacles like a champion. Adult like a boss and kick problems in the tail, Fish.

  • Aquarius 5-8-26

    Bills, Bills, Bills — once a cute song, now your whole life. Right? What kind of fresh hell is this? The struggle is real, and you may not feel up for it today — but that doesn’t mean you don’t owe. Am I Right, Aquarius? Facing these challenges head-on will likely solve problems better than magical thinking. Wishing them away won’t make it so. Indulge your need for growth by studying an interest in your downtime or calling on a higher power so you don’t lose your sheep when you’re called upon to Adult today. You’ve got this — and any harder lessons you could learn today will help you in the long run. Even if today is tough, you’re waaaay tougher.

  • Capricorn 5-8-26

    If people are talking about you behind your back, Cappy, just fart in their general direction, leave them in a cloud of stink — and walk away. Problem solved! With the vibes today, it might not be as easy as leaving a methane vapor in your wake. You may be tempted to run far, far away from the issues at hand, but you’ll grow as a person once you deal with issues head on instead of hiding from it. You’ll likely benefit from working on building up a positive self-image (because, frankly, you’re awesome) and reminding yourself of the good you’ve done in the world. You are a worthwhile person and the Universe can take it’s sick sense of humor and flock right off while you light Friday like the Sun.

  • Sagittarius 5-8-26

    What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas — unless you contract a disease. Then that gank comes home with you. What’s that have to do with today’s horoscope forecast? Not crap. It’s just a lesson about practicing good health habits. Anyway, today Sagittarians will likely deal with a bubbling brook of disagreements and differing opinions. Because your strong opinions are often linked to your sense of self, you could feel like you’re under attack when people disagree today. Sigh. Try to open yourself up to conversational debates without getting too attached to your beliefs. It’s okay to want to stick to your guns, but you could be missing out on some interesting opinions if you push away people who don’t agree with you. Ride on the vibes of intellect and foster a yearning for learning to turn uncomfortable disagreements into engaging discussions. You’re gonna learn today — sweet!

  • Scorpio 5-8-26

    Well, Scorpster, let’s cut to the chase. Pull on your what-have-you panties because it’s time to do the dang thing. I mean, isn’t it worth it when you can binge watch your fave serial killer documentary once you’re done? It’ll be like the carrot and the stick with this vibe. You have junk to do! You have things you WANT to do. Scorpios don’t fear work. They seek truth and accomplish… but with a vibe like this, having to deal with the details and little nonsense could be hard. Still, you’ve got this. Do the adult stuff, stay focused on what you need to do, and rock this day out loud.

  • Libra 5-8-26

    Maybe it’s about time you made the onions cry, huh?! Well, there’s no time for tears today. Just adulting for Libras (and maybe silently crying in the supply closet during your lunch break, IDK). With this Friday’s vibes, you may feel inclined to act out with impatience and carelessness. Go big or go home, am I right? I’m sorry to say, but you’ll want to try really hard not to give in to impulses to escape today. The vibe will be all about adulting through your problems. While it may seem easier to run away from the issues that arise throughout the day, the Libra ability to hit your mark when your eye is on the prize has equipped you to solve whatever problems the Universe throws at you. Saddle up, Scales, because there will be plenty of targets to hit and smack down.

  • Virgo 5-8-26

    When the going gets tough, Virgos whip out their longswords and impale sh*t. In the eye. Well, metaphorically, anyway (we hope), but today the Virgo emotions could seriously heat up and boil over. Your best bet for surviving today without completely losing your cool will be to get grounded. Your vibe can guide you through a spiritual connection that helps you keep your cool. You just have to decide to choose it. And who is cooler than you? Um, only nobody! Don’t let the Universe break down your composure. You’re stronger than that. Show the Universe that it’s a wimpy little asshat and that there is nothing on this Earth more amazing than a V this Friday!

  • Leo 5-8-26

    Grabbing some outside time or going to work? I mean, the Sun counts as Vitamin D. Vitamins are healthy. That can also give you skin cancer, but you could wear sunscreen. So you’d actually be behaving responsibly, right? Yeah, your Lion booty will likely be heading to work if you have a job, like it or not, or getting things done around the house. Gotta pay for the sunscreen, am I right? Well, heigh-de-fricking-ho. Doing the right thing will give you a brief boost, but you may still wish you were poolside. With the vibes today, that dream might help keep you from losing your cool when who-the-fork-ever reminds you, for the 500th time, that it’s Friday. Try to recall the feel of the sun on your face when you fake-smile at your annoying colleague or wrangle those kids — and finish your work as fast as you can so you can get out with fun time to spare!

  • Cancer 5-8-26

    Ever wonder if clouds look down at people and think, “Wow, that one’s shaped like an idiot.” The thought has certainly crossed your mind at some point, I’m sure. If it hasn’t, it probably will today. The vibes this Friday will likely reveal the immaturity of someone(s) around you and have Cancers pulling their hair out as they attempt to adult with the power of a thousand parents. It can be super exhausting to feel like the only grownup around, but you can get through another day. Put your brain to work and show the clouds what a champion-shaped human looks like. (Hint: It’s what you look like).

  • Gemini 5-8-26

    Today, you could feel the drive to adult like a mofo, but don’t forget to check your high expectations to avoid disappointment. Pay the bills, and do all the boring adult stuff, but the energy will also ripe for challenges. Don’t be surprised if you come face to face with an annoying colleague or get a “Miss you” text from that ex who should absolutely remain an ex. That’s just the kind of bullsheep that will be in the air. But it’s Friday and focusing on all things spiritual will help keep frustrations in check. Delete the text. Avoid the colleague. Practice mindfulness and make time to meditate. Your high standards are admirable, Gemini, but don’t forget to have the determination to lead with kindness rather than your truly impressive temper if it gets real. That’s what will give you the boost you need to take today by the jewels and win.

  • Taurus 5-8-26

    Want to tell the world to get bent and retreat back into the nearest blanket fort with a craft brew and some Netflix? Yeah, well, there’s a good chance that won’t be on the agenda today with these vibes, at least not until later. Instead, the energy will be awesome for adulting — if you think paying bills & crap is awesome. And speaking of poo, Bull, try not to lose yours as you’ll be faced with a vibe that could tempt you to come apart. You’ll be better served channeling the intuition you’re known for into a more spiritual direction. Meditate. Cycle through warrior poses, whether in yoga or a wheelchair — to tap into your inner badass. Pray (for sanity, peace and quiet, whatever). Do an act of kindness (to make your sensitive heart do a happy dance). Just chill the heck out and remember that adulting can be the price we pay for all that craft beer and no curfew.

  • Aries 5-8-26

    Ever run one of those obstacle courses where you somewhat gracefully fly over a wall only to end up knee-deep in mud? Yeah, adulting can be like that, Aries. Over one obstacle and dropping deep into another. Challenges abound and force us into crud we don’t feel like doing, and ever the water sign, you don’t love staying grounded, especially with today’s vibes. You’d much rather keep your head in the clouds but you’ll likely need to balance your lofty thoughts with real life to keep from losing it when you’re deep in adulting but you’d rather be sunning yourself on some tropical beach, drink in hand. So, do both. Sign checks while imagining you’re in Fiji buying a private beach or recite all the Pi decimals while vacuuming. Infuse creative fun into work and you might find it inspiring and even fun. Own the day!