Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Pisces 5-9-26

    In the words of a famous warthog (hey, Disney wisdom still counts as wisdom, right?), you gotta put your behind in your past. Wait… maybe that’s not the best quote for this. Still, revisiting the past will only be helpful if you learn from it. Your sensitive heart may be a lying, traitorous jerk if it tells you to drunk text an ex or give a backstabbing friend just one more chance. You’re an old soul who knows better, but the strong current of nostalgic energy could tempt you to explore what-might-have-been when it might be a better vibe to keep moving forward. Raise a glass of whatever you like to the past that brought you here, and then take the lesson learned and use it to make your life right now the best one possible. YOLO & Carpe Diem, Fishy!

  • Aquarius 5-9-26

    Is “no” a mood? Because you just might be feeling it today. Nope. Nope. Nope. Hell Nope. You might trip and fall on the past when thinking of times you trusted people who maybe didn’t earn or deserve it, Aquarius. Don’t get sucked into it. No, seriously. It doesn’t help you make new decisions when you’re stuck with regrets about past ones. Learn from that stuff, but don’t sit around beating yourself up about it. Who is worth more than that? Say it with me — You. You are. You did your best then, and your best now is even better for it.

  • Capricorn 5-9-26

    Well, when you’re two barrels short of a dozen monkeys and have no dice for playing with a full deck of cards, what’s a Cap to do? Indeed, today’s vibes could bring with them an air of unbalanced indecision. Agh! Thankfully, the your tendency for thinking on your feet can help get you through. Sure, it’s important to weigh consequences and whatnot, but try not to get too stuck on overthinking things this Saturday. Your gut has about as much to say as your brain, but intuition weighs about a pound more in worth than any scattered voices in your head space. Think, but don’t overthink. Decide and then act. No matter what happens, it’s sure to be interesting. That could very well be the key for getting through the day, Cappy. Put your gut to good use!

  • Sagittarius 5-9-26

    When you sit too long, your legs tend to get stiff and sore. So Sagittarians could feel bound to the same old chair, unwilling to make decisions or change up their routine. Take my advice (I’m not using it anyway): changes, even small ones, can be better than sitting there because your legs feel like achey jello. Even if you choose “incorrectly” and things go a bit sideways, you’ll still have an experience to look back on and laugh about. Memories are wildcards like that. For realsies, if you never make any mistakes or take any chances, you aren’t very likely to learn or grow. Archers often prefer their own versions of reality to, well, actual reality. However, it’s okay to be a little adventurous and take the scary routes from time to time. The more you explore, the more you know, and the more you know, the less you have to fear. Get out of the chair and breathe in some fresh air. You could be surprised by how delicious it tastes.

  • Scorpio 5-9-26

    Head spinning like an exorcism might be imminent? Projectile vomiting indecision all over the place? That’s what the vibes call for today. Scorpster, this energy will be no joke. Your brilliant mind may be seizing up at the very idea of indecisiveness, and past situations might have you second-guessing your every move. Use your resourceful nature to flip the script on this day and find a new perspective. Use past experiences to your advantage by carefully considering consequences (haul out your handy dandy notebook filled with pros and cons) to figure out what moves will be right for you. Trust that, and you’ll be sure to rock the heck outta this day without needing to call a priest for a holy water shower.

  • Libra 5-9-26

    Sometimes you just gotta shoot first and decide that whatever you hit was your target all along. With today’s weird and wonderful vibe floating around like pollen, you may just feel like shooting for the heck of it and hoping for the best in the midst of sneezing fits. Aim for the stars. Aim for the ground. Whatever! Just aim for something and then shoot — metaphorically, of course. Push through any difficult decisions you face today with determination! Maybe take a leap of faith — just not off a cliff or a bridge. That’s not what I’m talking about. If you arrive at a crossroads this Saturday, try choosing the path that scares you the most. That’s likely the one that will help you grow the most, too. Barrell towards your target decision like an arrow with a homing device, Libra!

  • Virgo 5-9-26

    You never know how important something is until it’s gone. Toilet paper, for example. For Virgos, the past could make an appearance this Saturday and bring on bouts of nostalgia. Well, it might help you to remember that the past is the past and it can’t be changed. The only thing you can change now is how you learn from it. Unless, of course, you have a time machine. If so, I call shotgun. But for real, why in the heck would you want to change the past? You are who you are because of all the crap you’ve overcome. Ever heard of “don’t fix it if it isn’t broken”??? So, if your past dares to rear its ugly head and make you feel anything less than grateful for who you are today, slap it back to the age of the dinosaurs like the badass V you are.

  • Leo 5-9-26

    If you could go back in time, would you do it? Well, that’s a philosophical question, so don’t worry too much about it. Still, the past will likely be a big theme for today, Leo. Your own personal past could come floating in on the vibes today, like the smell of that egg that rolled under the radiator two and a half weeks ago that you totally forgot about dealing with… Yeah. Stinky old past stench could be coming for your nostrils and your nostalgia this Saturday. Learn to let go of the past, dude. No matter how many times you think over something that’s already happened, you can’t go back in time to change it. Meanwhile, throw that rotten egg away and then take on Saturday like the boss you are!

  • Cancer 5-9-26

    Know that feeling when you trip on your own clumsy feet and fall flat on your ass? Then you look around to make sure no one else saw? Yeah, that’s what’ll happen if you keep tripping over the past because you’re not looking where you’re going, Cancer. You’re losing your darn mind if you think the past has what you want. Your love and relationship focus makes you a strong partner — or a fool if you’re stuck replaying your personal uber-tragic-romantic song over and over. Use today’s strong energy to gain perspective, not to catapult yourself into the arms of an ex. Do NOT cyber stalk them on social media “just to see how they’re doing.” Instead, learn from the past. Get some practical perspective about how something helped you become the boss you are today.

  • Gemini 5-9-26

    Walking around with hearts in your eyes about the past is a great way to walk straight into a wall, Gemini. That’d be great for a viral video, though. Just saying. Your high ideals might have you romanticizing the past. Your generous nature may want you giving past partners the benefit of the doubt. Just don’t. Seriously, exes are exes for a reason, and this vibe may be great for falling deep in your thoughts, but it could be a better opportunity to evaluate your current relationships to see how you can amp up the romance. Single? No problem. Romance for one? Treat YOURSELF…. because you’re so fabulous.

  • Taurus 5-9-26

    Shades look hot on you, but check and make sure you aren’t wearing rose-colored specs, Taurus. First, they went out of style alongside neon socks with sandals. Second, you might be tempted to romanticize poor past decisions if you use the wrong shades to look at back. Today’s energy will feel like longing and smell like regret. Ew. There’s a reason they don’t sell that scent at the bath and body store. Instead of being tripped up, look for the lessons. You’re good at thinking you’re way through things, Bull, and if you apply your super introspective skills to mining lessons from past experiences, you may just realize that you already have the answer to any questions you’ve been asking yourself. Booyah!

  • Aries 5-9-26

    Like the roadrunner on steroids hitting the iceberg that sunk the Titanic, an Aries could be forced into a stand still when it comes to making decisions. Indeed, being unable to choose which mountain to climb could have you freezing up thanks today’s vibes. Unfreeze! This isn’t Elsa’s magic ice castle. Frozen isn’t the new cool. Take. Action. Thoughtful patience is a virtue, for sure. But if you’re standing still so long that you fossilize, then life is gonna pass you by like a freight train zooming by an Old West ghost town. Are you a ghost or are you alive?! (Hint: If you have a pulse, you’re most likely alive). So, what are you waiting for? Don’t let life zoom by you, Ram.