Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Virgo 11-23-23

    Nov 23, 2023… Buckle your seatbelt today, Virgo. It’s going to be, well… interesting (or it could suck. That’s up to you.). Remember, while you could find yourself dropping more F-bombs than usual, for F**K’s sake, V, remember there can be kids around. Just bite your tongue… (F**K) ouch! Right? It will be all about progress today with the Moon in Aries conjunct Chiron and trine Mercury in Sag. Growing pains can pop up… OR you could embrace it like the boss you are and power right on through.

  • Leo 11-23-23

    Nov 23, 2023… Like a king drunk off of power and bad wine, the lordly Lion will be facing an influx (or reflux) of raging potential. While that could lead to King Henry the VIII type behavior (e.g. beheading all his wives like a sociopath), you could instead choose to capitalize on your potential like the Burger King and make big bucks. Today’s energies with the Moon in Aries conjunct Chiron and trine Mercury in Sag will be bubbling up for success. The key for growth, though, will be managing your pesky emotions. If you give into anger, you could successfully burn down a town. Or — OR — you could use optimism as your guide! Rather than beheading a handful of women who fail to bear you sons, search for success in more meaningful avenues in your life. Will you be a tyrant or a savior? The king of destruction or the emperor of good vibes? The choice yours, Leo.

  • Cancer 11-23-23

    Nov 23, 2023… Think of this day like a cake. A big cake with lots of icing, all for you. Maybe with sprinkles. So many sprinkles. A delicious chocolate cake… and dammit, now I forgot where I was going with this and just want to eat cake! Oh, right — this is a horoscope. Okay, Cancer: today, you could have your cake and eat it, too — whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean. This Thursday will be serving up a big fat slice of positive energy that’s great for furthering your already awesome plan to one day rule the world (or score a slice of cake at lunch, idk). There will be a fricking fantastic vibe for getting your point across without coming across like you’re on a power trip. Now — go out and be fabulous while I go find some damn cake!

  • Gemini 11-23-23

    Nov 23, 2023… Your my-way-or-the-highway tendencies will likely be heightened by the vibes of Moon in Aries conjunct Chiron and trine Mercury in Sag today, Bull. While that could turn you into a perfectionist, that’s kind of a waste of your potential. Instead, use today’s vibes and your admirable willpower to get to the next level in your work life, personal life, or your secret life (Hey, who am I to judge?). Work with today’s vibes to rise up and get your way, Gem. It’ll be about damn time for a promotion or the next step toward your intentions, yeah?

  • Taurus 11-23-23

    Nov 23, 2023… Like a shopaholic with a no-limit platinum credit card, you may be feeling like the world is your oyster. Today, the energy will be buzzing with positivity, power and the Moon in Aries conjunct Chiron and trine Mercury in Sag. Using it to make major headway on a goal could have you feeling like that shopaholic post-shopping-binge-glow — only without the massive debt, ten dead tree’s worth of receipts and heavy shopping bags of stuff you don’t need, Taurus. Meeting goals and avoiding drama will help you find the balance you’ll be craving.

  • Aries 11-23-23

    Nov 23, 2023… Want to know the upside of bullcrap? It makes great fertilizer. Spread poop — get flowers. It’s the circle of life. You’re heading into the weekend soon, and the vibe will be strong for growth, Aries. Use any bullsheep you encountered during the week to grow into the goal you’ve been working your tail off to achieve, Ram. With the Moon in Aries conjunct Chiron and trine Mercury in Sag, you’ve got resilience in spades, and today will be an amazing time to bloom.

  • Pisces 11-22-23

    Nov 22, 2023… “You can’t spell awesome without ME,” and you can’t spell Pisces without IS, which clearly means Fishies are extra awesome when they work together with other people. Leading with the not-so-humble brag won’t endear you to those around you, and compromise may not be your favorite, but as the Moon in Pisces conjuncts Neptune and trines Mars in Scorpio, then moves to Aries to trine the Sun in Sag, being a team player will be an important part of work and relationships today. Period. Be awesome, but don’t be an ass about it. Remember that other people’s shine-y parts won’t dull your own.

  • Aquarius 11-22-23

    Nov 22, 2023… Like a greedy kid who broke into a bakery and is refusing to leave, the Aquarian’s nature may just cause them some serious issues today. The Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune and trine Mars in Scorpio, then moving to Aries to trine the Sun in Sag, shining light on your steadfast determination. I know, I know, it’s basically in your nature and it can be a good thing when it comes to standing your ground like a boss, but are you really gonna let “nature” control how you act today? I think tf not. Exercise your other traits and don’t let those lower urges take the lead today. You are pretty darn awesome even without that pesky “unmoving rock” trait. Be creative. Be affectionate. Be dependable. Be you.

  • Capricorn 11-22-23

    Nov 22, 2023… There will be a lot of fast talking bullcrap going around today. Could be contagious. It will be best avoided in relationships you value and jobs you actually want to keep, Cappy. Symptoms include saying more than is wise, and the only real treatment is to either zip it or think before you open up that bug catcher of yours to speak. Your high expectations are noble, my fiery friend, but it will serve you well to focus more on how you’re feeling than on what you think everyone else should be doing. Then? Wednesday’s Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune and trine Mars in Scorpio, then moving to Aries to trine the Sun in Sag can serve you an energy that’s amazing to be uniquely you.

  • Sagittarius 11-22-23

    Nov 22, 2023… There will be days when Sagittarius may feel like a ghost, hidden and invisible in the background, so they’ll go all poltergeist and stuff in order to draw attention to themselves. We see you. I know, it can be hard if you don’t feel worthwhile. That’s why you could be headed into a poltergeist-level explosion in an attempt to feel like you are more than what you’re feeling this Wednesday. The Moon in Pisces will be conjunct Neptune and trine Mars in Scorpio, then moving to Aries to trine the Sun in Sag, so there will be a ton of ways to turn this energy into something productive rather than destructive! You could create and make art to express your feelings. Or you might reach out to a friend to talk through your intensity. Adapt and use your incredible imagination to come up with solutions. Whatever you do, though, don’t seek to be the center of attention by giving in to scary ghosty outbursts. You are so much more than that.

  • Scorpio 11-22-23

    Nov 22, 2023… If you can’t punch through a wall with one fist, then try, try again. Maybe a few more thousand punches will do the trick. That’s often how a Scorpio’s mind works when they’ve got their mind set on a particular outcome. Their stubborn, fixed nature could cause serious issues (and possibly two broken hands) today. The Moon in Pisces will be conjunct Neptune and trine Mars in Scorpio, then moving to Aries to trine the Sun in Sag, highlighting the Scorpio’s passion and opinions. If you believe you can punch through a wall, you’re going to try until your bones shatter. I don’t know why anyone would want to punch through a wall, but that’s beside the point. Practice a little flexibility and allow your friendly nature and inventiveness to help you have an amazing day.

  • Libra 11-22-23

    Nov 22, 2023… Know how everyone you work with is an idiot and you’re so much better at your job than they are? Or the morons in your class? Or these small people running around your house that can’t wipe their own butts yet? Well, if you don’t proceed with caution, everyone else will know that’s how you feel, and you’ll be royally screwed. These big Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune and trine Mars in Scorpio, then moving to Aries to trine the Sun in Sag vibes are spectacular for being the most sensational version of you — but can also feel unpredictable and reactive. Want others to know you work hard? Just do it. Want others to respect you? Set the example. Recognize someone else’s efforts for change and growth. Your work ethic will be badass all on its own today. Just be awesome, unique you, Libra.