Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Capricorn 3-26-26

    Capricorns will be kind of like a squishy communal sponge, but instead of soaking up water and suds, they soak up negative energy from other people. That could be a serious problem today, because the vibes today can lead to some serious feelings of stagnation. If you pick on that caged-up vibe from other people, don’t just soak it up. Try talking it out and use stories of your own struggles to help them. You’re an intuition guru, so you’ll know exactly what to say.

  • Sagittarius 3-26-26

    Imagine a grown up mouthing off to the people around them like an angsty teenager who wants to go out on a Friday night. Well, that could be Sagittarians today, but worse. The energies today will be all kinds of messy and the Archer’s tendency to resist sharing their thoughts can cause extra special tension. Try to be mindful of your mood and how that affects what you say to other people. Your words of wisdom and truth can easily turn into poison-tipped arrows. Practice kind truths today. You’ll keep yourself out of trouble and probably help others by being a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

  • Scorpio 3-26-26

    Cleaning your way out of the cluster-duck of too many feels won’t work, and drinking your way out of it isn’t the most productive use of your time (and we all know how Scorpios thrive with balance). Dumping frustrated energy on your work minions or losing it with your kids is unlikely to serve you well, either, but never fear! Your passionate nature could be put to better use plotting and planning a few random acts of kindness. You’re smart enough to know that the good vibes you generate with your efforts will rub off on you. Enjoy your steady and strategic kindness, and you’ll make it through this day with energy to spare.

  • Libra 3-26-26

    Watch out for the Libra today because they will still be a boss… but, like, also on fire… and running straight at people. Scales don’t like sitting still and despise feeling stagnated. Your restlessness and need for growth could have you itching in your skin today. To get rid of that icky feeling, try finishing something you’ve left undone or started and got distracted. The awesome feeling of accomplishment you can get by finishing an old project will carry you through into tomorrow.

  • Virgo 3-26-26

    Would you enjoy carrying around buckets of stinky, old chicken poop? Yeah, most people wouldn’t but that’s what unresolved emotions are like: buckets of poop. Luckily, Virgos are unyielding in their search for solutions, and this trait will aid you today in helping them work through any unresolved emotions. It may be tempting to let those unpleasant emotions stay buried under your many layers of shell. Free yourself of the burden of stinky poop emotions. A V deserves to fly free, not be shackled down by poop.

  • Leo 3-26-26

    Shut your pie hole before a clever retort lands you in a spit storm today (EW!), my dear Lion. The vibes will be awesome today for expressing how you feel — but considerably less awesome for running your mouth. With the today’s vibes, your words could have teeth, and you will be one sorry human tomorrow if you let your mouth get away from you today. Avoid gossip and complaints in favor of a more positive focus, & you will be better able to keep the harmony you love so much. Use your superpowers for good and you’ve got this day handled.

  • Cancer 3-26-26

    I hope you’ve had a pedicure recently because Cancers could be facing a serious case of foot-in-mouth today. Indeed, the vibes will highlight your subtle snarky nature. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you generally have the right to your snark. You often have great advice and people who don’t listen are, well, the opposite of smart (whispers: “idiots”). But today, you will likely end up pushing people’s buttons and testing limits with your quick wit. Think before you shoot your mouth off. Or else, you could be eating your own feet. Gross. Unless you have a foot fetish. Then, congrats, I guess… Be nice (as hard as that might be) and own the day.

  • Gemini 3-26-26

    Does bungee jumping from a bi-plane wearing only your birthday suit sound like the things to do today? Right? Wrong! Gem, your spicy nature could get the best of you today if you don’t rise above the current chaos. Take that fire to the bedroom (or nearest table, wall, shower… you get the picture). No partner? No problem! Just make time for yourself and put that energy into your favorite way to blow off steam, and you might even have a little left to reroute that passion toward solving any lingering problems in your life. You could rue the day, or you could rule it, and we both know you were born to be on top!

  • Taurus 3-26-26

    Taurus, your big heart is why you’re so well-liked, but you could quickly become a pain in the butt if you allow your emotions to get in the driver’s seat. Don’t jump the gun on assumptions just because you think a thing is true. Deep breaths, self-care, and asking rather than assuming will be your bestest friends today. Also, chocolate. Chocolate will always be there for you. If your heart is broken, using that pain to offer solidarity to others will likely ease your own discomfort. And did I mention chocolate helps?

  • Aries 3-26-26

    Remember those old TV shows when the hero would be trapped in the room with the walls closing in? No?? You get the feeling though, right? You’re probably feeling that now since you can’t exactly think your way out of the slow death-by boredom. Over-thinking isn’t your friend, Aries, and it will likely serve you better to push that energy into creative problem solving on an unresolved issue. Your adaptability will serve you well, and your quick wit might save your tail. Keep that open mind and sense of humor, Ram. It’s not over til it’s over. Just stay out of your own head, and you’ll be fine.

  • Pisces 3-25-26

    Put down that 24 pack of donuts and step away from the pastries aisle. Back away. Keep backing away. Okay, now exit the grocery store all together. Don’t eat that delightful smelling bar soap, either, Pisces! It isn’t edible! I don’t care if it is pretty and smells like chocolate and coconut. It actually tastes like crap and you’ll end up puking. Yes, some Fishies have a tendency to scarf down comfort foods in times of stress (a mindless thing to do while running the numbers and balancing your budget a million times), and today might get pretty stressful. Instead of reaching for that Devil’s food cake, carry some healthy snacks around and maybe drown in celery sticks or Triscuits or something to balance it out.

  • Aquarius 3-25-26

    Hide all the matches and lighters from the Aquarians, because their vibes today will likely be explosive and volatile. WB, try your best not to set everything on fire if you become frustrated with yourself today. When you feel your rage boiling over, use some relaxation techniques to keep a cool head. Meditate. Take a shower. Your element may be fire, but that doesn’t mean you should burn the world to the ground. Stay chill, my friend — or at least lukewarm.