Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Virgo 12-19-23

    Dec 19, 2023… Feeling as restless as a crackhead awaiting their dealer, Virgo? Well, luckily for you, I’ve got your fix right here, buddy. The vibes today will be great for dealing better with hurt feelings and underlying emotions. Get a handle on this stuff NOW and quit having to deal with nonsense that’s holding you down and making you feel caged. You can’t run headfirst into life until you deal with the pile of crap you’re lugging behind you. Use the vibes to work through those tough emotions today and you could just find your restlessness cured. Ah, sweet freedom!

  • Leo 12-19-23

    Dec 19, 2023… Determination, absolute ideologies, and the Infinity Gauntlet? Welcome to the Lion’s secret lair! Okay, Leos might seem emotional and like they’re going to destroy the world, but they truly do want what’s best for their loved ones. Today’s vibes will be all about education and growth with this Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune and square the Sun in Sag, then moving into Aries to square Mercury in Cap, so use these vibes to learn how to better convey your intentions and achieve your goals for the “betterment of humanity” (that’s totally code for world domination). You are inevitable.

  • Cancer 12-19-23

    Dec 19, 2023… Treating yourself doesn’t mean you should rob a bank, change your name, and move to your own private island. It sounds dang good in theory, but you’ll miss having an audience to appreciate your wit, and your spicy soul would grow restless with all the pointless relaxation. Then you’d be too busy worrying about getting caught and wearing orange to truly enjoy all the pointless relaxation anyway, am I right? No, my Crabby friend, you’ll be better off using the vibes of the Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune and square the Sun in Sag, then moving into Aries to square Mercury in Cap, to find other ways of treating yourself that don’t involve a life of crime and running away from your problems. Binge watch a serial killer documentary, buy a new notebook to help keep your crap together, or spend a few minutes organizing your space for efficiency AND ambiance. Whatever tickles your pickle and challenges you to learn something you didn’t know will help you rock this day.

  • Gemini 12-19-23

    Dec 19, 2023… Well, let’s just stick you in some dirt with Miracle Grow and some cow manure and see what comes of it, shall we? What happens when a Gemini evolves to the next level?! Well, thanks to the vibes coming from the Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune and square the Sun in Sag, then moving into Aries to square Mercury in Cap, we could just find out this Tuesday. Learning, growing, evolving — all that good stuff will be in the energies today. Slurp it up like a slushie from Seven Eleven and when you’re over the brainfreeze, you might just be excited at all the possibilities.

  • Taurus 12-19-23

    Dec 19, 2023… Do you know the exact note and pitch that comes from a hummingbird’s cute little face in mating season? No? Me, neither. You should look that up today. Taurus the Always Learning may not be quite as catchy of a title as something with “Bull” in it, but you’ll be able to rock the daylights out of newfound knowledge today with the Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune and square the Sun in Sag, then moving into Aries to square Mercury in Cap. Could be a good night for a little trivia or to take on a new project at work. You could even learn a little more about yourself if you deal with hurt feelings with a conversation — rather than reacting. Go learn the things and do the stuff, and you could have a super nerdy, but amazing, day.

  • Aries 12-18-23

    Dec 19, 2023… Instead of being tripped up by hurt feelings, Aries, you’ll find that your warm, gooey center will likely feel protected by your Sherpa-lined fins and scales. Bam! Haters gonna hate and players gonna play — but you won’t be needing to give a rat’s ass today. Feel free to embrace cozy, welcome confidence. In fact, you’ll be sailing along being a better person and learning new stuff without even feeling more than an inkling of a temptation to clap back so hard their heads spin. Nope, not you. You’ll be a no-drama llama today, my friend.

  • Pisces 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Got your Monday gear on? Gas mask? Knee pads? That absorbent underware for bladder leaks? Hang on to your hats, Pisces, because this Monday could be frigging bizarre. We’ve got the Moon in Pisces square Mars in Sag and trine Venus in Scorpio, which could make for an unpredictable and off the wall day. But your inquiring mind could find the zany energy vastly entertaining. Using your quick wit to find the humor in the madness could help you treat the day as a novel surprise rather than an annoyance. Your mad genius energy will help you field the unexpected with a grin while the rest of the Zodiac could be trying to duck and run. Go you!

  • Aquarius 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Ever been bitten in the crotch by an angry squirrel? Well Aquarius, with the weird freaking vibes raining down as from the Moon in Pisces square Mars in Sag and trine Venus in Scorpio, anything could happen. Like, AnYtHiNg. Keep an eye out for surprises and sidestep that crap the best you can, WB. Of course, we can’t always stop weirdness from happening, but we can learn to bounce back. Plus, there will be potential for extra exciting, good surprises to come your way, too. Get ready for some expert side-step-climbing and bouncing! Can you bounce? SURE! Annyway… stay away from the squirrels, just in case. Okay? Just to be safe. Their teeth are tiny and sharp.

  • Capricorn 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Surprises and Monday sound like a match made in hell, but don’t make any snap judgments about this day. Not going to lie, the energy will be weird as heck. The vibes will be zany, unexpected, and … well, Manic Monday might not just be a cool 80s song. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be fun. Stay open to the possibilities, and let your natural sense of wonder and enthusiasm enchant you. While the rest of the Zodiac might be asking WTAF, you’ll be waiting in delicious anticipation of whatever this day might hold, Cappy. Grab some popcorn and wait for the entertainment to begin.

  • Sagittarius 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Same old soggy waffles and a side of the blues and cold coffee for breakfast? Not today, Saggy! There’ll be some fantastically strange and undeniably creative vibes floating around, which means you could have a much easier time with your visionary flow if you tap into the energies. Say goodbye to writer’s block and frustratingly null brainstorms. There’ll be uniqueness in abundance, so take it in fistfuls and do your thing. There’s so much you can accomplish once you tap into the vibes and drink it up like water after a bad acid trip. Hydrate with the vibes!

  • Scorpio 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… If Scorpios were all given the same middle name at birth, the name would be Weird. Or Stable Strangeling. No? Badass Banshee! Okay, well, maybe your Mom was better at this than I am. But with the Moon in Pisces square Mars in Sag and trine Venus in Scorpio encouraging strange adventures, you’ll likely find that you feel totally in your element. Weirdness abounds! Be aware that surprises and the unexpected could be in store with a real draw to let it all hang out. With that in mind, revel in your glory and use the weird to your advantage! I now dub thee Stable Strangeling Scorpster.

  • Libra 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Libras and surprises go together like tap water and lead pipes. If you’re as weird as the day ahead, you may think that sounds delightful. Otherwise, you might be in for one messed-up Monday. We’ve got the Moon in Pisces square Mars in Sag and trine Venus in Scorpio, which could have everything feeling wonky. Could be fun, if you stop giving the day some serious side eye and choose to enjoy the detour. Your goals will be right where you left them if you take a time out to enjoy the freaky, fun surprise that will be this Monday.