Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Virgo 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Like wandering into a candle store that smells like feet, this Monday could really stink for Virgo. Or — hear me out — it could be not stinky. Maybe you LIKE foot-scented candy. Or perhaps it turns out you can buy candy by the foot! V, use your royal airs and the Captain Strangepork vibes in the air to make the most of your day. Maybe try switching up the old daily routine. You might explore some backroads or watch a new documentary on haunted dolls… Whatever happens today, do something a little different for an extra dose of fun.

  • Leo 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Who says Mondays can’t be fun? Well… there’s your dentist, the guy at the Wally World who already did 28 hours on the clock over the weekend, your ex’s therapist, me… Everyone, basically. But here’s the thing Leo, the Moon will be rocking and rolling in Pisces today, and wild, wonderful vibes will be floating in the air. Snatch the unexpected and delightfully offbeat vibes up like they’re pretty butterflies and make strides toward a not sucky Monday. The day will be what you make it, so welcome the awkweird energies in the air and live it out loud.

  • Cancer 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Time to buckle in because this day may have as much balance as an old as dirt roller coaster at a carnival that hasn’t bothered with maintenance since 1972. Like maybe missing a few bolts and yet still running. Wee! Sounds awesome, right, Crabby? Look, this doesn’t mean the day will suck. Actually, with the Moon in Pisces square Mars in Sag and trine Venus in Scorpio, the day could be filled with surprises. Think unexpected or novel, not necessarily bad. I mean, I wouldn’t hop onto a rickety roller coaster, but maybe trying something new will fulfill this vibe and help you let down your hair. Your natural need for two-toner nature will have you combining inner resources to deal with this madness like a pro. But buckle up… just in case.

  • Gemini 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Did someone order a meat dragon made from fae flesh? No? Are you SURE? Gemini, the vibes in the air today will be quirky AF with a side of WTF. Prepare thyself for the strangest of occurrences with some energy from Moon in Pisces square Mars in Sag and trine Venus in Scorpio, hanging in the atmosphere. If things seem to go a little sideways, you can use the vibes to have some fun and go with the funky flow. Things might not go exactly according to plan, but that’ll be okay. You can find ways to adjust! Now, to figure out where to put this meat dragon…

  • Taurus 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Your creative juices could flow well today, Taurus. Just the creative ones. Keep your other juices to yourself, please. No one wants to see that. With the Moon in Pisces square Mars in Sag and trine Venus in Scorpio, the energy may feel like it was created by Dali or Picasso. Think an assortment of unusualness but better than that box of candy where you bite in and you go, “Ewwww.” Expecting the unexpected won’t be just another BS cliché, and you may find that your creative energy gets a large charge out of this ridiculous day. What you create out of this freaknugget energy will be totally up to you; you’ll get out what you put in.

  • Aries 12-18-23

    Dec 18, 2023… Hope your sense of humor is in tip top condition, Aries, because the forecast for today calls for the deliciously zany vibe to tickle your pinky toes. The Moon will be scooting through Pisces square Mars in Sag and trine Venus in Scorpio, and the energy could throw you for a loop. Don’t smother the ones you love by hanging on too tight, but definitely don’t think you have to go it alone either. We’ll all be on this great space crazy-ass roller coaster together so hold on, but try to loosen up so you’ll be entertained rather than terrified. Oddball nonsense could be fun. Guess you’ll just have to come on out and see.

  • Pisces 12-17-23

    Dec 17, 2023… Zesty conversations are totally in your wheelhouse, Pisces. You know, like: “Hey, Baby. What’s your Revised Neo Personality Inventory?” So hot! (horoscope writer makes sizzling sound and touches finger to hip. Tsssssst!) But today’s Moon moving into Pisces to conjunct Saturn energy could have you uping your game if that’s what you seek. Fascinating conversational opportunities will likely merge with a spicy vibe to have you walking through this day feeling fierce. Talk about kicking booty and taking names when it comes to challenges that arise! Even your lofty standards could be satisfied with this day’s intriguing vibes. Stay curious and enjoy the absolute heck out of this day, Fishy.

  • Aquarius 12-17-23

    Dec 17, 2023… Are you sticking 9 volt batteries on your tongue again? Because I think I just saw a spark! Aquarians could be in for some zesty conversations and meetings thanks to the Moon moving into Pisces to conjunct Saturn. Whether you’re looking for some action or just feeling a little flirty, the vibes will be great for a little ooh-la-la this Sunday. Even if you’re not DTR (down to romance), you could still have some fascinating meetings with interesting people if you want to put yourself out there. Dig into the vibes, WB.

  • Capricorn 12-17-23

    Dec 17, 2023… Signing papers, remembering to walk the dog, balancing the checkbook, weed whacking, buying a practical gift for your cousin’s Zoom wedding to her cat… all the things boring adults do on a Sunday. Today you could find them fun and engaging and be feeling full adulting powers — communicating with maturity, shelving the snark (temporarily at any rate), leading like a boss, and even doing a little grownup flirting if you so choose (with consent). Your badassery knows no bounds today, Cappy, with the Moon moving into Pisces to conjunct Saturn. Go forth and adult, awesome You!

  • Sagittarius 12-17-23

    Dec 17, 2023… You CAN have some cake and eat it, too, Saggy. After all, why the heck would anyone even HAVE a cake they weren’t going to eat? What do they do? Throw perfectly good cake into the landfill? That’s just wrong. This Sunday will be blessed with vibes of better communication, so you can rock the energies and say what you need to say. Toss confusion and misunderstandings out the window while going 120 mph on the highway! (Please don’t actually drive that recklessly. Ever. Or litter. Really.) The vibes will be there for the taking, so grab them up and make them work in your favor. You’ve got this, Sagittarius!

  • Scorpio 12-17-23

    Dec 17, 2023… I’ll take my coffee like I take my future — dark and bitter. Okay, so you probably won’t be feeling THAT pessimistic this Sunday, Scorpio, but you could be feeling the mature vibes of the Moon moving into Pisces to conjunct Saturn and it may seem like a good idea to take your coffee black — like an adult does. You know what? Take your darn covfefe however you darn well please and rule this lover’s (or loner’s) day like a boss adulty person. Because you are. Just because you love your own uniqueness, that drummer beat you’re pounding on your own doesn’t mean you can’t run with the big kids. There’s much to be accomplished, Scorpster — Believe, achieve, and then complain about your aching back. How’s that for adulting?

  • Libra 12-17-23

    Dec 17, 2023… Get ready to level up, Libra! Ding! Today’s energy of the Moon moving into Pisces to conjunct Saturn could have you striding toward your goals with the fierce energy Scales are known for. But don’t think leveling up will be boring. Oh, no no! As you work your way closer, you can expect intriguing conversation, flirtation, and a surge of confidence as you see fit. When adulting meets fun, you can make this Sunday one for the books — perhaps the memoir on how you became such a badass.