Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Virgo 12-16-23

    Dec 16, 2023… Like a wealthy philanthropist who literally poops money, Virgos could be feeling generous today thanks to the vibes reflected by the Moon in Aquarius square Venus in Scorpio and Uranus in Taurus. Except it doesn’t have to cost a dime. While giving and gifting is a great way to show your love, this energy will be about adding a little twist to the generosity by surprising your loved ones. If you feel like being an early Santa Claus, it will be a fantastic vibe for it. Maybe they need a new toaster, a better lunchbox, an extra pencil, or a new swing. Okay, maybe not a toaster. Or, maybe you could simply surprise someone with your insight and your time. As long as you’re not popping out from behind trees with that hockey mask you keep under your bed, your unexpected giving heart will likely be appreciated today.

  • Leo 12-16-23

    Dec 16, 2023… No matter how you swing it, that claw hammer from Lowe’s just is NOT gonna shoot lightning like Thor’s hammer. Today’s life lesson for Leo will be all about practically. Sometimes Lions get carried away with their optimism and maybe try a little too hard to make something out of nothing (the not-Thor’s-hammer, for example). Practical doesn’t have to mean boring! Giving or getting — useful surprises might be in store for you… so get on out there and embrace your love for useful things.

  • Cancer 12-16-23

    Dec 16, 2023… Forecast for the weekend looks bright so put on your coolest, most expensive shades and be ready for an ah-mazing weekend! Satur-yay will start Cancers off with the Moon in Aquarius square Venus in Scorpio and Uranus in Taurus promoting happy yet useful surprise vibes. Gifts that make your life easier could drop into your life, and the energy of gift-giving and receiving will likely give the day a sense of exciting anticipation balanced with abundant kindness. Let those vibes put a smile on your face and a helpful spirit in your heart, and you could even pay it forward with acts of kindness of your own, Crabby.

  • Gemini 12-16-23

    Dec 16, 2023… Surprise! The Moon in Aquarius will square Venus in Scorpio and Uranus in Taurus today. Don’t sweat it. We’re not talking about the sort of surprise where the Universe yells “Happy Birthday!” and shoves a rusty wooden spoon up your booty (yikes). Quite the opposite, actually. The little wonders this fine December day will most likely be good and have great potential for being useful. Take the miracles as they come, Gem. Oh, happy day! (Note: no spoons or rear ends were injured in the creation of this horoscope)

  • Taurus 12-16-23

    Dec 16, 2023… Your high expectations sometimes trip you up when it comes to surprises. If the Universe doesn’t send a surprise jumping out of a big old cake or a beautifully wrapped gift, don’t be disappointed. Sometimes surprises, particularly with the Moon in Aquarius square Venus in Scorpio and Uranus in Taurus, can be help you weren’t expecting but needed, little gifts, and acts of kindness. So don’t get it twisted if the Universe doesn’t send you a winning lottery ticket or an extra paycheck. If you have a grateful heart, you may see happy surprises everywhere today — or maybe a good day will be enough of a happy surprise on its own, my Taurus friend.

  • Aries 12-16-23

    Dec 16, 2023… If useful and fun sound super boring together, maybe you’ve never gotten something while the Moon in Aquarius squares Venus in Scorpio and Uranus in Taurus. With the Moon hitting up this exact aspect this Saturday, the vibes will be all about happy yet useful surprises. A surprise could look like a thoughtful thing (or helpful action) that will help make your life easier. Your sensitive soul will positively bloom. Just don’t expect it to come wrapped in a box (though anything’s possible) or mushy-gushy stuff. Or a million bucks. Yeah.. that’s probably not gonna happen. But, the Universe might send an unexpected delight your way if you open yourself to it, Aries.

  • Pisces 12-15-23

    Dec 15, 2023… Forecast calls for crossed wires, general electrocution, and a need for freedom today, Fishy. Who, what, where, when and wtf? Skip texting in lieu of real conversations, and don’t expect anyone to read your mind to know what you need if you don’t use your words. With the Moon in Cap conjunct Pluto and then moving into Aquarius to square Jupiter in Taurus, your messages could go awry — or simply be misunderstood. Use your natural mental superpowers to communicate clearly. Also, don’t freak the fork out if someone crowds your space. Just keep calm, and speak up if your personal space is invaded. If all else fails, remember that the rules for kindergarten still apply in adulthood: use your words and play well with others. If you can manage that, treat yourself to a snacky snack!

  • Aquarius 12-15-23

    Dec 15, 2023… No, you aren’t tripping balls from some bad mushrooms, Aquarius. Well, you could be. I don’t know your life. What I do know is that the Moon in Cap will be conjunct Pluto and then moving into Aquarius to square Jupiter in Taurus and will promote wires getting crossed all over the dang place. Buckle up and get ready for a ride on the miscommunication-mobile. Things might not come out as you’d like them to, but you’ll survive the madness and maybe even be the Sign that rocks this Friday with your epic patience and perseverance. I believe in you, WB.

  • Capricorn 12-15-23

    Dec 15, 2023… Say what? Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. With the Moon in Cap conjunct Pluto and then moving into Aquarius to square Jupiter in Taurus, communication could be a… royal pain in the butt. You may want to launch the ones you love into outer space so they’ll leave you the hell alone, but letting them know what you need could help you get those needs met without damaging the relationships that mean the most. Your craving for space and freedom could have you contemplating a mental health day, a short road trip, a meditation session — anything to get you out of your routine. Find a way to give yourself what you need while keeping your finger holstered and any f-bombs undeployed for a much easier day, Cappy.

  • Sagittarius 12-15-23

    Dec 15, 2023… The London Bridge is burning to the flipping ground, my fair lady/sir/person. Okay, so the vibes might make it feel like you’re burning bridges left and right, but any miscommunications with your loved ones today may not actually be as bad as you think they are. Probably. The biggest thing will be to keep people in the loop about your needs, especially if you’re needing some space. Let them know instead of pushing them away. Things’ll turn out okay — as long as you refrain from self-destructing, Saggy. Keep your mind open and the words flowing from your soul — and you might just make this a fantastic Friday after all.

  • Scorpio 12-15-23

    Dec 15, 2023… Butting heads and biting tongues? Could be a kinky Friday night, but that’s probably just actually the lowest level of a Scorpio as the vibes of miscommunication reflected by the Moon in Cap conjunct Pluto and then moving into Aquarius to square Jupiter in Taurus encouraging disagreements and stabby-stab feelings. Don’t be THAT lowly version of yourself, Scorpster. Kick the Universe in the family jewels, use its hunched over body as a step stool, and reach for higher vibes of harmony and balance this Friday. You don’t have to crumble under the communication breakdown. You can rise above it!

  • Libra 12-15-23

    Dec 15, 2023… While shoving people off the nearest precipice makes for an interesting fantasy when they’re harshing your Friday vibe, try to keep it a fantasy, Libra. You don’t look so good in orange or stripes (I mean, who does?), and your need to be free won’t mesh well with bars and razor wire. Just saying. Maybe give the people you love the benefit of the doubt. They may not be trying to annoy the ever-loving poop out of you. With the Moon in Cap conjunct Pluto and then moving into Aquarius to square Jupiter in Taurus, good intentions might end up getting lost in translation. Maybe give yourself a time out or treat yourself to happy hour later. Just speak up and let your peeps know you’re feeling cranky. They might even want to share a drink and a pie with you — or will back off and let you have your space. Either way, awesome!