Category: Cancer AV

Dec 3, 2023… Not your circus, not your monkeys, right? Wrong! Cancers tend to be the ringmaster of said circus, dead center of the drama, cracking the whip and making them all dance. You likely want to be up on the high wire, all eyes on you and with the best possible view, but you often end up deep in drama because you just can’t stay out of the fray. Today’s energy of the Leo Moon square Uranus in Taurus will make a way smoother vibe for dealing directly with the drama by setting boundaries and saying no to it. Say it with me: No. Heck no. No forking way. See how good that feels? Instead of provoking the circus, take a break from it, acknowledge your struggles, and say no as needed for a strong, drama-free day.

Dec 2, 2023… If you could go back in time, would you do it? Well, that’s a philosophical question, so don’t worry too much about it. Still, the past will likely be a big theme for today, Crabby. Your own personal past could come floating in on the vibes today when the Moon in Leo trine the Sun in Sag, like the smell of that egg that rolled under the radiator two and a half weeks ago that you totally forgot about dealing with… Yeah. Stinky old past stench could be coming for your nostrils and your nostalgia this Saturday. Learn to let go of the past, dude. No matter how many times you think over something that’s already happened, you can’t go back in time to change it. Meanwhile, throw that rotten egg away and then take on Saturday like the boss you are!

Dec 1, 2023… Grabbing some outside time or going to work? I mean, the Sun counts as Vitamin D. Vitamins are healthy. That can also give you skin cancer, but you could wear sunscreen. So you’d actually be behaving responsibly, right? Yeah, your Crabby booty will likely be heading to work if you have a job, like it or not, or getting things done around the house. Gotta pay for the sunscreen, am I right? Well, heigh-de-fricking-ho. Doing the right thing will give you a brief boost, but you may still wish you were poolside. With the Moon in Leo trine Mars in Sag and square Jupiter in Taurus, that dream might help keep you from losing your cool when who-the-fork-ever reminds you, for the 500th time, that it’s Friday. Try to recall the feel of the sun on your face when you fake-smile at your annoying colleague or wrangle those kids — and finish your work as fast as you can so you can get out with fun time to spare!

Nov 30, 2023… Remember picking flowers and saying “loves me, loves me not” as you dismembered and decapitated them? Today’s energy will be more like love me, leave me alone, love me, leave me THE HECK alone. Ever connection-focused, Cancers may struggle with a sense of being overwhelmed as you’re pulled between wanting intimacy and solitude — at the same time. Still, the Moon in Cancer opposing Pluto in Cap, square Venus in Libra and trine Neptune in Pisces will likely gel well with Crabs. You might find that connecting on a mental or spiritual level with someone comes with ease, like rubbing Vaseline on your brain. If emotions are a little too much, choose mental connections for a fab Thursday.

Nov 29, 2023… Pieces could fall into place as easily as a puzzle today. No, not one of those 2-sided puzzles that make most people cry tears of frustration. I’m talking about an easy puzzle, Crabby. Big pieces, bright colors, anyone could do it. Think Dora the Explorer kinda puzzle. Never mind; fork the puzzle metaphor. Just think easy and lucky. No, not in a spicy way — though, hey, maybe — anyway, could we stay on point here??? I’m trying to say that with the Moon in Cancer trine Saturn in Pisces, things could really go your way. Think simple. Think lucky, Cancer!

Nov 28, 2023… Much as you may want to cancel this day, you can’t. Guess you’ll just have to step up and be ready for the weird energy of the Moon in Gemini opposing Mercury in Sag, trine Venus in Libra, and square Neptune in Pisces. Sometimes, you don’t quite know your own power, Crabby. You could come on too strong — an epic form of self-sabotage sure to mess up your day. To avoid screw ups, give yourself time to think before reacting and make sure the words that come out of your mouth will be ones you really want to stand by. If you do go too far, be brave and admit that you’re not perfect to inspire others to follow your strong leadership example. This day can be awesome when you pause to think it through, because you can get the results you were looking for that way.

Nov 27, 2023… If your friends often joke you could go into intelligence for your mad skills at snooping out secrets with little more than a dating profile pic and first name, you might be a Cancer. With the added boost of the Moon in Gemini opposing the Sun in Sag, wanting to go even deeper might be your strong mug of coffee, but be sure to mind your business and focus on your own closet before you go pulling skeletons out of everyone else’s. Still, you could benefit from information uncovered about yourself or others, so stay open, but be sure to keep your nose clean (and out of what doesn’t concern you) for a sweeter smelling (um, feeling?) day.

Nov 26, 2023… Knowing the difference between unwelcome catcalling and delivering a genuine compliment in a non-creepy as hell way could make all the difference today with a Moon in Taurus trine Pluto in Cap and then moving into Gemini to oppose the Mars in Sag and Square Saturn in Pisces. Your ease communicating will get a solid boost of energy, and you’ll be able to balance your own sense of affection or attraction with some good old-fashioned common sense. In other words, READ THE ROOM. Even if it is a Zoom room. A saucy flirtation could be welcome while loaded innuendos should only ever be undertaken in an established relationship. Strut your stuff, get your flirt on, but use your excellent judgment, like you always do, Cancer.

Nov 25, 2023… Put on some ocean-friendly SPF and wade into this day like the magical mer-person you are, Cancer. Disappointment won’t sink your ship today, not when a renewed sense of optimism comes along to really float your boat. Your typical resilience will serve you well with a Moon in Taurus conjunct Uranus. You could feel a strong urge to balance disappointment with the reminder that you can’t grow unless you know. Using lessons learned to get ahead will make this day go swimmingly. You’re magical as heck, and you know it. Now go show it.

Nov 24, 2023… Today’s energies are going to have you wanting to fly far, far away. People you might love might be a little too in-your-face with love and concern with the Moon in Aries square Pluto in Cap and then moving to Taurus to conjunct Jupiter, and you’ll be better served to chill out before you blow up. Go for a walk, Crabby. Take a long break. Repeat a mantra. Do whatever it takes to remind yourself that they have your best interests at heart, even if their methods seem like madness. Letting them know you appreciate how much they care might make you both feel better than, say, changing your name and hopping on a plane. Your desire for flight could use the balance of your better sense today to help you stay grounded, calm, and kind.

Nov 23, 2023… Think of this day like a cake. A big cake with lots of icing, all for you. Maybe with sprinkles. So many sprinkles. A delicious chocolate cake… and dammit, now I forgot where I was going with this and just want to eat cake! Oh, right — this is a horoscope. Okay, Cancer: today, you could have your cake and eat it, too — whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean. This Thursday will be serving up a big fat slice of positive energy that’s great for furthering your already awesome plan to one day rule the world (or score a slice of cake at lunch, idk). There will be a fricking fantastic vibe for getting your point across without coming across like you’re on a power trip. Now — go out and be fabulous while I go find some damn cake!

Nov 22, 2023… If you feel like wading into a mess today to speak your mind, today’s energies will not, not, not be ideal. I know your heart will be in the right place, but open-cranky-ass-mouth-insert-foot is not the best plan for helping those you love get it together. The Moon in Pisces will be conjunct Neptune and trine Mars in Scorpio, then moving to Aries to trine the Sun in Sag and that, Crabby, can reflect some of the weirdest and scattered feelings you may have. Focus on taking your own emotional temperature and expressing how you feel rather than stepping into a big, stinky pile of someone else’s drama. You’ll thank me later. Now, get out there and do this day like a boss.