Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Virgo 12-1-23

    Dec 1, 2023… Maybe it’s about time you made the onions cry, huh?! Well, there’s no time for tears today. Just adulting for Virgos (and maybe silently crying in the supply closet during your lunch break, IDK). With the Moon in Leo trine Mars in Sag and square Jupiter in Taurus this Friday, you may feel inclined to act out with impatience and carelessness. Go big or go home, am I right? I’m sorry to say, but you’ll want to try really hard not to give in to impulses to escape today. The vibe will be all about adulting through your problems. While it may seem easier to run away from the issues that arise throughout the day, the Virgo ability to hit your mark when your eye is on the prize has equipped you to solve whatever problems the Universe throws at you. Saddle up, V, because there will be plenty of targets to hit and smack down.

  • Leo 12-1-23

    Dec 1, 2023… When the going gets tough, Leos whip out their claws and impale sh*t. In the eye. Well, metaphorically, anyway (we hope), but today the Lion emotions could seriously heat up and boil over with the Moon in Leo trine Mars in Sag and square Jupiter in Taurus. Your best bet for surviving today without completely losing your cool will be to get grounded. Your vibe can guide you through a spiritual connection that helps you keep your cool. You just have to decide to choose it. And who is cooler than you? Um, only nobody! Don’t let the Universe break down your composure. You’re stronger than that. Show the Universe that it’s a wimpy little asshat and that there is nothing on this Earth more amazing than a Leo this Friday!

  • Cancer 12-1-23

    Dec 1, 2023… Grabbing some outside time or going to work? I mean, the Sun counts as Vitamin D. Vitamins are healthy. That can also give you skin cancer, but you could wear sunscreen. So you’d actually be behaving responsibly, right? Yeah, your Crabby booty will likely be heading to work if you have a job, like it or not, or getting things done around the house. Gotta pay for the sunscreen, am I right? Well, heigh-de-fricking-ho. Doing the right thing will give you a brief boost, but you may still wish you were poolside. With the Moon in Leo trine Mars in Sag and square Jupiter in Taurus, that dream might help keep you from losing your cool when who-the-fork-ever reminds you, for the 500th time, that it’s Friday. Try to recall the feel of the sun on your face when you fake-smile at your annoying colleague or wrangle those kids — and finish your work as fast as you can so you can get out with fun time to spare!

  • Gemini 12-1-23

    Dec 1, 2023… Ever wonder if clouds look down at people and think, “Wow, that one’s shaped like an idiot.” The thought has certainly crossed your mind at some point, I’m sure. If it hasn’t, it probably will today. The vibes of the Leo Moon trine Mars in Sag and square Jupiter in Taurus this Friday will likely reveal the immaturity of someone(s) around you and have Geminis pulling their hair out as they attempt to adult with the power of a thousand parents. It can be super exhausting to feel like the only grownup around, but you can get through another day. Put your brain to work and show the clouds what a champion-shaped human looks like. (Hint: It’s what you look like).

  • Taurus 12-1-23

    Dec 1, 2023… Today, you could feel the drive to adult like a mofo, but don’t forget to check your high expectations to avoid disappointment. Pay the bills, and do all the boring adult stuff, but the energy will also ripe for challenges. Don’t be surprised if you come face to face with an annoying colleague or get a “Miss you” text from that ex who should absolutely remain an ex. That’s just the kind of bullsheep that will be in the air. But it’s Friday and focusing on all things spiritual will help keep frustrations in check. Delete the text. Avoid the colleague. Practice mindfulness and make time to meditate. Your high standards are admirable, Taurus, but don’t forget to have the Bull’s determination to lead with kindness rather than your truly impressive temper if it gets real. That’s what will give you the boost you need to take today by the jewels and win.

  • Aries 12-1-23

    Dec 1, 2023… Want to tell the world to get bent and retreat back into the nearest blanket fort with a craft brew and some Netflix? Yeah, well, there’s a good chance that won’t be on the agenda today, at least not until later. Instead, the energy will be awesome for adulting — if you think paying bills & crap is awesome. And speaking of poo, Ram, try not to lose yours as you’ll be faced with a vibe that could tempt you to come apart. You’ll be better served channeling the intuition you’re known for into a more spiritual direction. Meditate. Cycle through warrior poses, whether in yoga or a wheelchair — to tap into your inner badass. Pray (for sanity, peace and quiet, whatever). Do an act of kindness (to make your sensitive heart do a happy dance). Just chill the heck out and remember that adulting can be the price we pay for all that craft beer and no curfew.

  • Pisces 11-30-23

    Nov 30, 2023… Thursday mood: Love me and don’t fluffing touch me! Fishy, you’re no stranger to warring factions of light and dark inside you. Your friendly yet distant nature is part of what makes you complex and beautiful. Yet, today’s energy of the Moon in Cancer opposing Pluto in Cap, square Venus in Libra and trine Neptune in Pisces could leave you wanting to hold people close and push them away at the same time. Seek solution-focused communication. Check your impulse to throat punch a well-meaning friend or lover and instead speak up when you need “me” time. As social as you are, you just might need to balance that with breaks, self-care, and liberal doses of comfort food.

  • Aquarius 11-30-23

    Nov 30, 2023… Today could almost be an Aquarian’s lucky day — except not really. The tendency to be a leader could come across as being smothering if you’re not careful. There will be nurturing vibes from the Moon in Cancer opposing Pluto in Cap, square Venus in Libra and trine Neptune in Pisces to Leo today, and your challenge, dear WB, may be to find that balance between being helpful and being a plastic bag wrapped around someone’s face. You can still be you and also respect other people’s boundaries. Work on being aware of other’s feelings and needs, and when in doubt, ask if someone wants help or advice. Get it done, ya little Care Bear.

  • Capricorn 11-30-23

    Nov 30, 2023… Today’s energetic symptoms will include one feverish clusterfluck of love me with a side order of leave me the heck alone. You might be tempted to open mouth, insert foot today. When you talk about what you need, take care to err on the side of keeping it cool. A tendency to self-sabotage could kick in if you don’t find a good balance between wanting love and needing space. Alternating people time with solitude and self-care might be just what the doctor ordered for a most magnificent Thursday, Cappy.

  • Sagittarius 11-30-23

    Nov 30, 2023… If you hug the wrong person in public, you’ll probs get tazed or punched in the throat. Consent, Saggy! Today’s vibes will have people on high alert for being smothered and touched without permission, which could put your intensity in a bind. Your hot self may get you into trouble today if you cross into personal spaces. Nurturing energies are filling the air and they have some people hiding in dumpsters to avoid feelings. Not you, though, because you’re an embracer of feelings and you often enjoy helping others. This Thursday, however, you may need to fly away from your usual urge to merge and simply be present to help when asked rather than acting as a first responder for people who you think might possibly maybe need some help. Relax a little and enjoy some time of not being relied on. You’re so important — so give yourself a hug.

  • Scorpio 11-30-23

    Nov 30, 2023… Scorpio, your intense nature could have people running for the hills on this love-struck Thursday. Indeed, nurturing vibes all around could have plenty of Signs ready to push you down a mountain into shark infested waters than chance being smothered by compassion. Since you’re likely the more aloof one, a nurturing shift might just scare the fluff out of people. The Moon in Cancer will be opposing Pluto in Cap, square Venus in Libra and trine Neptune in Pisces, which’ll open you up to energies that could make you totally unpredictable (fun). Shake it up, but give people space if you get a little too in their face. Heck, you know what it’s like to loooove freedom. Get out there and spring board into your day… not into those shark-infested waters.

  • Libra 11-30-23

    Nov 30, 2023… Squishy, gooey love will be in the air, and Libras might find themselves hightailing it to a place of peaceful, quiet solitude. Ever goal-oriented, the Scales may have some serious relationship goals, but none of them likely involve being smothered to death by attention. No thanks, Moon in Cancer opposing Pluto in Cap, square Venus in Libra and trine Neptune in Pisces. Your heart will want to check your quick wit when it comes to telling loved ones that you need a little space. Rise above. Let your minions shower you with admiration. You are amazing and deserve it.