Category: Horoscopes AV

  • Virgo 11-1-23

    Nov 1, 2023… If you’ve ever been tempted to throw a computer or phone out the window or smash it all to pieces, you’ll be well-prepared for the technical cluster-fluff of this day. But replacing your television, phone, or laptop will likely be an unnecessary experience if you go into this energy of this day of the Moon in Gemini square Neptune in Pisces and then moving into Cancer to trine Saturn in Pisces. Wires may get crossed in more than just your conversations, and Wi-Fi may feel about as reliable as dial-up. Sit down, take a walk, breathe. Do something to shake loose that sense of powerlessness. Learn a new way of doing something or focus on a different task while waiting for technology to behave. The day won’t be lost if the wi-fi goes down. You can jot your resolutions down in ink like it’s the olden days. Come up with a new plan, and then finish the day like a boss, Virgo.

  • Leo 11-1-23

    Nov 1, 2023… Technology is great… until it isn’t. Leo, you could feel like slam dunking your phone into the toilet or tossing your computer in the trash as tech issues get carried in on the vibes this Tuesday. You might try taking a technology vacation if you can. Turn off the phone, walk away from the computer, and maybe even enjoy some nature, IDK. There’s more to the world than technology, you know? If you get angry at your phone, tablet, smart TV or whatever, don’t go all “Hulk smash” on your stuff. Instead, take that as a signal to go do something else with your life. When’s the last time you touched a real book? Did you know libraries still exist with curbside pickups??? This Wednesday, try putting the technology on pause (It’s probably gonna be on the fritz anyway) and do something non-tech related. The possibilities are endless!

  • Cancer 11-1-23

    Nov 1, 2023… Grab your notebook and get your sexy school uniform out of the closet, because today will likely be full of learning experiences! Will that be a good thing? Maybe! That will be up to you, Cancer. The face smack of the Moon in Gemini square Neptune in Pisces and then moving into Cancer to trine Saturn in Pisces might throw some hard lessons at you, but that doesn’t mean you’ve gotta stand there and take a dodgeball to the face. Tap into your passionate nature and use it to take on today’s lessons like you’re preparing for an intergalactic battle with space androids! I’m placing my bets on you, Crab.

  • Gemini 11-1-23

    Nov 1, 2023… Geminis love connecting. I mean, you really want to connect. Like, to the freaking Internet. Sometime today. If Wi-Fi goes haywire or your computer acts like it caught the plague (because this is totally the year for it) or Facebook decides to do the millionth update just when you were posting a status, you may be tempted to curse technology like a sailor on shore leave… or a parent stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night, on the stairs, naked. The Moon in Gemini will be square Neptune in Pisces and then moving into Cancer to trine Saturn in Pisces, and communication may misfire. Try to make a connection in real life instead — make a new friend, immerse yourself in nature, connect with who you are at your core. Sure, you can tell Alexa to go smudge herself. It might get you some interesting and entertaining search results. But it might be a better use of your time to put down the technology for once and try something new. And don’t fret, pet. You’re so close to kissing this garbage year goodbye!

  • Taurus 11-1-23

    Nov 1, 2023… “You fill out those jeans really well!” “Are you calling me fat?!” Uggghhhhh, miscommunication may be in your future today, Taurus. Try not to pull out your hair, though! And, please, don’t kill the village idiot. They’re kinda funny. Instead, practicing patience and being able to walk away if things get heated could be just the ticket to getting you through the miscommunication madness. Not everyone will always be on the same page with you. Nor can everyone keep up with the speed of your mind. Keep that at the forefront of your brain when dealing with people today. And if someone gets super salty over a misunderstanding, it’s okay to walk away. I mean, let’s be honest, here. When you go to a battle of wits against an idiot, nobody wins. Save your energy and just walk away. Stay chill and don’t poison anyone’s coffee, Taurus. No matter how badly they annoy you.

  • Aries 11-1-23

    Nov 1, 2023… Hell-to-the-aww-heck-no may be impressive non-swearing, but it won’t help you fix whatever gadget just went haywire with the Moon in Gemini square Neptune in Pisces and then moving into Cancer to trine Saturn in Pisces. Miscommunication in general will be in the air today, and without a handy gas mask, you may just have to deal with it. Step carefully when wading into arguments today, or you’ll be cleaning your boots later. Use the misfiring of communication to learn something new — about technology, about yourself, about others. Stick to your precious high road by helping where you can, surrendering where you can’t, and learning whatever will help you get through this day like the fearless Rams that Aries are known to be.

  • Pisces 10-31-23

    Oct 31, 2023… Carrying all those big emotions around can be pretty dang draining. With the Moon in Gemini square Venus in Virgo, the energy may shift the focus to healthy stuff. While you may roll your eyes at the mind/body/soul lecture, it’s all connected, and you could really use some self-care time to take care of you. Take a mental health day if you can. Or a long lunch. Find a way to listen to what your body needs from you today. Those big emotions could use a big frigging break (so could you). Go do you. The rest of the Zodiac can manage.

  • Aquarius 10-31-23

    Oct 31, 2023… Screw being the master of multitasking! Who cares if you can keep all the balls in the air if all you do is juggle all the damn time? The Moon in Gemini will square Venus in Virgo, and your focus may be moving in the direction of wellness, Water Bearer. Take a few deep breaths. Meditate. Focus on one task at a time. When you shift your attention away from doing all the things to being present, you’ll likely feel a weight shift off your shoulders, too. Your body knows what you need if you’ll just listen to it.

  • Capricorn 10-31-23

    Oct 31, 2023… In case you haven’t heard lately, staying well is super important, Capricorn. How have you been feeling lately? Health — mental, physical, and spiritual — is vital for a happy life. If you don’t take care of that temple of yours, you can be sure as hell that nobody else will. Make this day a wellness check-in day. If you’ve been craving something, feeling under the weather, etc., take time to figure out what the root cause is and take care of your health, gosh darnit! XOXO.

  • Sagittarius 10-31-23

    Oct 31, 2023… Running like it’s the zombie apocalypse will be one option to address the Moon in Gemini square Venus in Virgo today. Maybe no one will be after eating your brains (um, I really hope not), but getting moving with a little physical activity may help you feel a little better. Chair yoga, a few quick stretches, or your favorite water sport could all be good options, time permitting, to put a little motivation into this Tuesday. You, Saggy, may find it easy to tackle at least one health goal today.

  • Scorpio 10-31-23

    Oct 31, 2023… Some say that good health is the slowest way to die, and I think that’s pretty great. Fast deaths usually lead to angry, confused ghosts. Moral of the story? Die slowly! Why the heck am I talking about this? Well, Scorpster, this Tuesday’s vibes will be all about health and wellness. Unfortunately, often times Scorpios struggle with their mental well-being. Practicing self-kindness and seeking out help when you’re feeling down are just two ways you can work towards being healthier and dying slowly. You could also try cuddling a bunch of puppies, engaging in a tickle war, taking a bath in chocolate pudding, or making out with a hot stranger (wait, what? That’s not very socially distant of you!). Have some ideas? Great, now go out there and win the record for the slowest dying person ever! Woo!

  • Libra 10-31-23

    Oct 31, 2023… How’s it going, Libra? How are you feeling, really? The vibes today will be all about checking in with your body and making sure it’s getting all the vital nutrients, exercise, and massages that it could possibly need. After all, as far as current technology goes, this is the only body you’re getting in this lifetime. So take care of it. Eat healthy, be kind to yourself, and exercise if you can. Maybe try some new self-care routines. Or, like, any self-care. At all. Ever. Do what you gotta do to help your body be the best that it can be. That way, you can be the best version of you! Your future starts today. What are you waiting for?